What They Say

You know that song by Christina Aguilera that goes,

I'm beautiful
no matter what they say
'cos words can't bring me down...

I hear it blaring out in shopping malls and cafes around town. And I bet it must be the rallying cry to those who feel misunderstood and despised and all, yeah?



But that song makes me wonder sometimes, to what extent do I care how others perceive me to be? On one hand, there's this part of me that goes,

Be yourself. Yea, you DAA MAN. Don't give a damn what others think. It's their loss anyway.

on the other,

Oh, he/she said I'm a bit too nice/harsh/being an a**hole. I must not displease him/her. The sky is falling. God have mercy on me a forsaken sinner!


Well, I take for granted that I know this. It's in the balance. You must not be on either extremes. But there's something else really bothering me. You see, over these years, I've come to despise this line:


Oh, he's a nice guy


Perhaps I'm a bit sensitive, but it never fails to upset me when a friend of mine uses that to describe me. It sounds like reading an eulogy for a stranger. Well, to be honest, its not his or her fault. Maybe we're just not that close. Overly sensitive me.

But it really hurts when someone says that, and you know you could describe them better yourself. When you thought you knew each other better. Insults would be better, seriously. And we drift apart. With not even a passing thought about each other for the remainder of our ephemeral (note: mmmm...nice complicated word) life. And I thought we were friends.

Enough of that, here's what some of my friends or acquaintances have described me:


Shy, introverted- Ahh...that was true. Back in those days. And I thought I'd never grow out of it. But praise God, I can look back on it as a phase. A phase in life. But there are still some remnants, cookie crumbs you might say.

Sweet- Mmm....that's nice. Let me imagine how the conversation would continue:
Me: My, how sweet of you to call me sweet
Friend: That's awfully sweet of you to call me sweet
compliments continue indefinitely.......

Religious- Don't like that word too much. Implies snobbishness, 'holier than thou' aura, mindless adherance, routine. Which is not the actual case.

Clever- I'm flattered. But grades don't determine your level of intellect.

Hardworking- I'm sorry. Nothing could be further from the truth. I carry the anatomy book around just to remind me to study. It's all out of guilt.

Handsome- Haha, this pumps up my ego easily. Mostly from my friend's parents and old 'aunties' :P ....and disturbingly, the compliments come, disproportionately from those with the Y chromosome. Creepy. Enough said.

A Dipsh*t buddy- Thanks Brian! Really appreciate that. I'm not being ironic either. Miss being called that.

Marvin- The robot from "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". Ever depressed. Hopefully that's part of the past.

Chrissypoo, he needs to be more gentleman- from Steph Sii. Point taken.

Aiyoh, he cannot take care of himself. He's so absent minded- Mum, you win. But I'm learning.



But at the end of the day *cue random Grey's Anatomy music*...I'll repeat it...It's all in the balance. Halfway between being totally oblivious and being a crowd pleaser. Just remember to be true to yourself, no double life. And try to be like Him up there.



How would you like to be described anyway?