Trust me, I'm not so into singing. But I can't help but like Jack Johnson's Better Together. So, hear this pirated malaysian cover by me:
Thanks Christine for lending me your guitar.
And for the laydees, the fumbling sound in the background is of gary changing :P
I admit it. I'm a banana. A member of the Chinese community with almost zero proficiency in Mandarin. I can't speak Mandarin to save my life, yet alone have meaningful conversation with a pure Mandarin speaker. I might be able to pick up a few words, but pair me with a Mandarin speaker and we'll be like a chicken and a duck in the same cage.
And knowing a few Hokkien and Mandarin profanities does not count either. That still makes you a banana. A twinkie. You know, as they say, yellow outside, white inside. A 'guay lo' or 'ang moh' in yellow skin. Heck, bananas think and dream in one language; English. And to American/Australian Born Chinese (ABCs), I feel you too.
Bananas blend in pretty well
With almost a quarter of the world speaking Mandarin, bananas may feel a little bit left out. Well, maybe VERY left out. As bananas are of Chinese descent, they are considered outcasts by some of their Mandarin speaking cousins, as a Chinese not knowing Mandarin is like Spongebob without Patrick. I know, BAD analogy, but you catch my drift. Bananas often have bad encounters with older generation Chinese, who scold them for not knowing their mother tongue. Face it, they probably think we are retards! Some bananas try to speak Mandarin, with weird intonation...and their conversations may probably end up like this:
(At a local Malaysian hawker centre)
Banana(thinking): I need to take a piss. Where's the damn toilet? I'm gonna ask that laksa hawker.
Banana: Err...excuse me...Wo Yao Chi Cheh Suo ( I want to eat toilet)
Hawker: Hah? Sheh Mer? Ni Yau Chi Sheh Mer? (Huh, what do you want to eat?)
Banana: Wo Yao Chi Cheh Suo! ( I want to eat toilet!)
...Hawker takes it as a personal insult and beats up the poor surprised banana...
Among some Chinese communities, bananas are thought of as snobs as most of them speak somewhat superior English. However, this perception is wrong in most cases as most bananas are like everyone else. Some of us at least try to speak Mandarin, okay? Only those bananas who insist that the "Queen's English" is the only civilised language should be frowned upon. Luckily for us, they are a but a tiny minority among bananas. Male bananas are also placed at a disadvantage, as most Mandarin speaking chicks are beyond their reach. As for the female bananas, you ask them yourself! :P
Should I be proud of being a banana? I can't answer that question, but yeah....I'm definitely not ashamed of myself! Diss us and face the consequences.
It's been a long while since I last blogged, and I apologize for the hiatus.
Anyway, it's already into my fourth week of 2nd year medicine. It's pretty much the same as what I had last year, only with a smaller bunch of meddies, plus 60 fresh-faced 1st years. I'm already starting to feel a tinge of regret for leaving some of my close pals behind in Melbourne.
But alas, due to inevitable financial reasons, here I am, smack in the middle of bustling Bandar Sunway, hopefully awaiting the moment when I can finally swear the Hippocrates Oath, and then get treated like sh*t as a hapless intern. Its worth it, I repeat to myself. Just worth it.
As the new university campus is still under construction as of now, the only faculty available is, you guessed it, the School of Medicine and Health Sciences. Everyone else will move in by the next semester, July being my best guess. In my opinion, the facilities in the new Malaysian are comparable to those in Clayton, except for the damn plastic lecture theatre seats. Everything is brand new and shiny. I do miss the sickly sweet smell of cadavers back in Clayton, as these are replaced by plastinated (think petrified like in Harry Potter) human beings in the new campus. Prodding the brain with my fingers didn't feel too special, as the cadavers are literally part-plastic and part-organic!
Lectures, tutes and pracs are conducted in the same way here, with local professors-cum-doctors replacing their Australian counterparts. The lecturers are more accessible to students and are way more flexible compared to some of the more jaded and weary professors we had back in Clayton campus. It's a plus in a way, and hopefully it'll stay that way in the future.
I'll be having my clinical visits soon (tomorrow!). And my biggest challenge here is yet to be overcome, more specifically dealing with patients who may or may not speak English. After all, I'm a banana...the species of Chinese incompetent with their mother tongue. I can just imagine myself interviewing my patient:
Me: Good morning, Mrs Tan. I would like to ask you a few questions. Would that be fine with you?
Mrs Tan: You ask me for what? Oke lor.
Me: Thank you Mrs Tan. Firstly, what brings you here?
Mrs Tan: My husband drive me here la.. Why u ask??
Me: Uh, sorry...I mean, what are you here for?
Mrs Tan: Ni hui zhiang hua yu ma? Wo de tu zhi hen tong.
Me: Erm..(long pause)..tu zhi tong....you mean your stomach hurts? I'm sorry Mrs tan, I can only listen to Mandarin, cannot really speak.
Mrs Tan: Aiya, ni bu hui zhiang hua yu? What lar...even three year old can speak better than you! Not malu one! And you call yourself doctor summore! -_-"
Me: :-(
Damn! I only had experience interviewing Aussies. I guess I've got a lot of learning to be done. My Malay is still functional, and my next stop, Tamil! Wish me luck cos I'm gonna need it.