Saturday, September 27, 2008

On women, appearance, boobs, and all that jazz

I have a feeling this could get interesting. I have been doing a little soul searching after some guy talk. Actually, yes, talking about women is what we do best. You can quote me on that one.


Sooner or later, a sticky question emerges. Why are you still single? Easy enough to answer huh?


The common answers come up; haven't found the right one...not confident enough la...not handsome...too busy...I'm gay and single, wanna drink *wink* *wink*  (Just kidding, yet to find such a response...not that I'm waiting for it...sorry gay readers! Strictly platonic..)

Guys, let us be totally honest here. Too busy? Then what are we doing here talking about girls.

Not confident enough? Well you know what to do then. I know women enough to know that they really like confident guys. They have the ability smell fear and insecurity with the an acuity of a hunting beagle. Good girls love bad boys? Pah, it's all in their confidence. Learn to love yourself a bit more.

Haven't found the right one? Acceptable. But we have a host of things to figure out. Firstly, what do we guys (aka myself) look for in a girl...Told you this is going to get interesting.

What chris observes (and implies) when he sees a girl:

Physical appearance.

Well duh. What did you expect? Her personality? I heard they were selling personality lenses at the local optometrist. Oh wait, they're sold out.

Before you jump onto the "oh, he's so superficial" bandwagon, I would like to acknowledge that a good personality and a heart of gold matters as much or even more than a pretty face or a proportionate body. 

But as we say, better SEE it to believe it. 

I have to be brutally honest here. The first "filter" that a girl passes through when it comes to analyzing "potential" is physical beauty. I appreciate beauty. The beauty of classic victorian architecture, the beauty of hand crafted Italian shoes, the beauty of an azure sea contrasted with golden sand, the curves and patina of a well aged Stradivarius violin. 

The beauty of a delicate nose, smooth healthy skin, sparkling eyes, full lips, legs, curves. A living visual testament to God's craftsmanship. (or evolution as some believe)

The complete package. Believe me, there is a whole book in the Bible praising a woman's beauty. Good ol' SOS. Women have been obsessed with looking good for a few millennia and it's all our fault. Not that I'll fault that :)

The problem is that I never settle for just passable. My standards will be the death of me.

Towards greyer matters. (Unmyelinated grey matter, geddit?) Med school is mother of all lame med puns, so bear with me.

The way she dresses: It does matter. And also gives clues about her personality. How much she loves herself. How confident is she. Her values. Her taste, or lack of it.

Pink? She's youthful...or  young at heart. T-shirt and jeans? Girl next door, down to earth, not too high maintenance. Revealing? Obvious "branded" labels or a walking billboard? A desperate attention seeking personality. How cute.

Besides that, if a guy like me maintains(kinda) his appearance, is it not too much to ask for a girl to attempt to look half-decent? Oh right, sorry, I probably didn't notice you.

Her size: Touchy touchy. Touchy issue. Grab your pitchforks and torches!

My verdict. It does matter. On a subconscious level at least. Sure, more to love, as I want to believe. Blame it on my testosterone driven instincts. I am wrong, and it is okay to fault me on this, but extra flesh flips on a switch in my head that goes....poor self control, mood swings, low self esteem, inactivity, passiveness, stubbornness, osteoarthritis, artherosclerosis, diabetes, cushings syndrome, hypothyroidism, cholecystitis, ascites....

Not exactly picture perfect there ay? As you can see, health professionals do a lot more judging, or assessing as we call it.

Medically, it has been proven that some people can not lose weight despite their genuine attempts. So don't be too quick to blame yourself or anyone. Take it from a quack doctor like me.




BUT WHAT ABOUT PERSONALITY. I'm tired. Will cover it in another post.






What chris does NOT observe:

Chris is not a boob man. I repeat, chris is NOT a boob man. Personally, I don't really get many guys' fascination with these fine female features. Sure, it adds to a nice silhouette and complements the wider female hip. And I for one do appreciate a perfectly proportionate figure. 

But what bothers me are men (some friends, names confidential) who seem enthralled and awed by what they not too creatively describe as melons and what not. I'm neither impressed nor disgusted by them. The breast size I mean. Here's something from 4 years ago:

Chris: And here's a pic of a friend and me
Guy:  OMG. They. are. big. They must be double D's! *Continues to stare intently at the pic and wipes drool off*
Chris: Have some respect lah. Would you like a woman to comment on your (use your imaginnaaattiioon) size? Lay off the weird hentai dude.

Digressing, did you know, in med school we have a term to describe saggies:

Pendulous. I rather like the way it rolls off my tongue. I can say it all day. Pendulous, pendulous, pendulous, pendulous, pendulous....


I will be doomed to eternal singlehood for this post. And go the way of Nicola Tesla...









Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Random assortment of phone pics


We just had a 'field trip' to a condom factory today. It was part of our occupational health and safety module. Mostly got to witness the process of making condoms from latex. It's mostly automated. The flavorings for some condoms (choc, caramel, tutti fruity etc.) were actually of a better grade than your run-of-the-mill cake flavoring. 

Fun Fact: Casanova, the most well known playboy, never once left home without his "English riding coat". I guess the other guys who slept around without a rubber got STDs and died early. There was no such thing as AIDS then (It was discovered in the 1980s, most likely someone screwed a chimp and later screwed someone else)








Free samples! Male and female "genicare" cream, a condom and lube. No naughty ideas..*chuckles*










This hairstyle is called the shag. Named after the look you got after shagging! I applied hair wax to my hair just before bed, and got up with whatever mess that developed throughout the night. Simply perfect for lazy asses like yours truly. A comb? You p**sy!









Just bought a shoe rack from Giant supermarket. Never been happier seeing my shoes arranged neatly. Call me a rube, but I love simple things like that.









My place when the sun goes down. Time to cook up some dinner...

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Thrift shop finds: Shoes

There is an abundance of valuable treasures you can find, if you know where to look for it. You just have be patient and have some background knowledge about the genre you're looking for, eg. shoes, watches, jeans. And rid yourself of the Chinese phobia of having "old" things (I prefer to call them vintage). I found these shoes at junk shops in JB for a good bargain (yes, you need basic bargaining skills too!)







Shoemaker: Cheaney of Northampton (owned by Church's, which is in turn owned by Prada)
Origin: Made in Northampton, England
Shoe type: Plain black bluchers (derbys)
Construction: Goodyear welted, leather sole








Shoemaker: Cole Haan
Origin: Hand Made in Italy
Shoe type: Brown balmorals/oxfords with brogueing
Construction: Blake stitched, leather sole

Copyright © 2007 Christopher Sim. All rights reserved. Any infringement would result in mutilation, public humiliation and perhaps decapitation. Do you get the explanation or do you need a demonstration?