On women, appearance, boobs, and all that jazz
I have a feeling this could get interesting. I have been doing a little soul searching after some guy talk. Actually, yes, talking about women is what we do best. You can quote me on that one.
Sooner or later, a sticky question emerges. Why are you still single? Easy enough to answer huh?
The common answers come up; haven't found the right one...not confident enough la...not handsome...too busy...I'm gay and single, wanna drink *wink* *wink* (Just kidding, yet to find such a response...not that I'm waiting for it...sorry gay readers! Strictly platonic..)
Guys, let us be totally honest here. Too busy? Then what are we doing here talking about girls.
Not confident enough? Well you know what to do then. I know women enough to know that they really like confident guys. They have the ability smell fear and insecurity with the an acuity of a hunting beagle. Good girls love bad boys? Pah, it's all in their confidence. Learn to love yourself a bit more.
Haven't found the right one? Acceptable. But we have a host of things to figure out. Firstly, what do we guys (aka myself) look for in a girl...Told you this is going to get interesting.
What chris observes (and implies) when he sees a girl:
Physical appearance.
Well duh. What did you expect? Her personality? I heard they were selling personality lenses at the local optometrist. Oh wait, they're sold out.
Before you jump onto the "oh, he's so superficial" bandwagon, I would like to acknowledge that a good personality and a heart of gold matters as much or even more than a pretty face or a proportionate body.
But as we say, better SEE it to believe it.
I have to be brutally honest here. The first "filter" that a girl passes through when it comes to analyzing "potential" is physical beauty. I appreciate beauty. The beauty of classic victorian architecture, the beauty of hand crafted Italian shoes, the beauty of an azure sea contrasted with golden sand, the curves and patina of a well aged Stradivarius violin.
The beauty of a delicate nose, smooth healthy skin, sparkling eyes, full lips, legs, curves. A living visual testament to God's craftsmanship. (or evolution as some believe)
The complete package. Believe me, there is a whole book in the Bible praising a woman's beauty. Good ol' SOS. Women have been obsessed with looking good for a few millennia and it's all our fault. Not that I'll fault that :)
The problem is that I never settle for just passable. My standards will be the death of me.
Towards greyer matters. (Unmyelinated grey matter, geddit?) Med school is mother of all lame med puns, so bear with me.
The way she dresses: It does matter. And also gives clues about her personality. How much she loves herself. How confident is she. Her values. Her taste, or lack of it.
Pink? She's youthful...or young at heart. T-shirt and jeans? Girl next door, down to earth, not too high maintenance. Revealing? Obvious "branded" labels or a walking billboard? A desperate attention seeking personality. How cute.
Besides that, if a guy like me maintains(kinda) his appearance, is it not too much to ask for a girl to attempt to look half-decent? Oh right, sorry, I probably didn't notice you.
Her size: Touchy touchy. Touchy issue. Grab your pitchforks and torches!
My verdict. It does matter. On a subconscious level at least. Sure, more to love, as I want to believe. Blame it on my testosterone driven instincts. I am wrong, and it is okay to fault me on this, but extra flesh flips on a switch in my head that goes....poor self control, mood swings, low self esteem, inactivity, passiveness, stubbornness, osteoarthritis, artherosclerosis, diabetes, cushings syndrome, hypothyroidism, cholecystitis, ascites....
Not exactly picture perfect there ay? As you can see, health professionals do a lot more judging, or assessing as we call it.
Medically, it has been proven that some people can not lose weight despite their genuine attempts. So don't be too quick to blame yourself or anyone. Take it from a quack doctor like me.
BUT WHAT ABOUT PERSONALITY. I'm tired. Will cover it in another post.
What chris does NOT observe:
Chris is not a boob man. I repeat, chris is NOT a boob man. Personally, I don't really get many guys' fascination with these fine female features. Sure, it adds to a nice silhouette and complements the wider female hip. And I for one do appreciate a perfectly proportionate figure.
But what bothers me are men (some friends, names confidential) who seem enthralled and awed by what they not too creatively describe as melons and what not. I'm neither impressed nor disgusted by them. The breast size I mean. Here's something from 4 years ago:
Chris: And here's a pic of a friend and me
Guy: OMG. They. are. big. They must be double D's! *Continues to stare intently at the pic and wipes drool off*
Chris: Have some respect lah. Would you like a woman to comment on your (use your imaginnaaattiioon) size? Lay off the weird hentai dude.
Digressing, did you know, in med school we have a term to describe saggies:
Pendulous. I rather like the way it rolls off my tongue. I can say it all day. Pendulous, pendulous, pendulous, pendulous, pendulous....
I will be doomed to eternal singlehood for this post. And go the way of Nicola Tesla...
15 comments:
"Women have been obsessed with looking good for a few millennia and it's all our fault. Not that I'll fault that :)"
By what you have written,
Now, men are starting to be like women .... .... ....
Whose fault is that?
Hi Chrizsim,
never underestimate the power of chemistry...
like Nicolai Tesla? You have a thing for pigeons? :)
to anonymous: LOL. About looking good? Men have always sort of cared about their looks until about the late 80's. Well polished shoes and properly ironed shirts used to be mark of a gentleman. I guess an (over)reaction to the casual 90's gave birth to metrosexuality.
to alex: Well, it was a beautiful pigeon.... :P
Metrosexuality is different from gentlemen-ness.
and your point being? Do i know u? dont be a sourpuss and reveal urself :P
No I have always commented anonymously in all the blogs including yours and Ji Keon's and etc. I won't reveal myself.
Joker-nya, this boy. Hahaha.
why not boobs? it feels almost gay to be hugging a girl without a pair of those.
Ah.. The brewing of a fine australian wine...
this post cracked me up at 3am in farrer and i nearly got scolded by my mates for it.
i whole-heartedly agree with what you wrote, probably because there's so much psychology experiments done on it and it's getting to my head.
but would love to see your personality posts, because according to research, even though the physical elements matter, men still rate personality as of higher importance than the physical.
chris. i so agree with you. I dont really look at boobs either. In fact...those girls who do the implants.....omg turnoff. fcking big. bleh
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kyNXAzkc6gQ/SQRRmAZszMI/AAAAAAAAAL4/fzTN7osOyoc/s1600-h/Christopher+Sim.png
Chrizman da man,
Fitri & Maz recommended that I read this entry and myyyy am I glad they did.
I totally agree on the whole 'physical appearance' comes first when it comes to 1st impression thing. For a person to label you superficial based on your FIRST encounter with a hot girl, well, that person ain't human.
Same goes with dressing etc. Even if you asked a goody2 who's all "my momma says looks don't matter if you have great personality", you can bet your last penny he can recall how the girl's hair was done, what shirt she wore & how a tent formed in his pants when he saw her. This, of course, strictly applies to first impressions.
All in all, this entry cracked me up good. We can totally have a conversation on girls AND guys together since, my sexual orientation is kinda on hold. Haha. See ya in class Chris.
hm... I found this post funny Chris. :)
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