The Idiot's Medical Dictionary

Nabeh, very simple leh! No nid to becum loctor ah!


Antibody: against everyone

Artery: the study of fine paintings

Bacteria: back door to a cafeteria

Caesarean section: a district in Rome

Cardiology: advanced study of poker playing

Coma: a punctuation mark

Dilate: to live longer

Genes: blue denim slacks

Haemorrhoid: a male from outer space

Impotent: distinguished, well-known

Labour pain: hurt at work

Organ Transplant: what you do to your piano when you move

Protein: in favour of young people

Red blood count: Count Dracula

Secretion: hiding anything

Tablet: a small table

Terminal illness: getting sick at the airport

Urine: opposite of "you're out"

Varicose: very close

Vein: conceited